Un peu d’Anglais, cela ne vous fera pas de mal J

ILLUMINATI

 -- To the tune of "Eleanor Rigby" 11-07-88

 Steve Jackson, Joe Vail, Creede Lambard

Illuminati...

They put a thing made of tinfoil on top of my door...

What is it for?

Illuminati...

Shooting a ray at my cornflakes to make them turn green...

What does it mean?

The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.

The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Illuminati...

Doing unspeakable things in the night to a cow...

Where are they now?

Illuminati...

Sent an impostor in place of the Popsicle man...

What is their plan?

The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.

The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

Illuminati...

They cancelled Star Trek, The Fonz, and My Mother, the Car...

Are they bizarre?

You can't escape them;

Even if you take a plane to Nepal or Peru...

They'll be there, too...

The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.

The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

I know that they know all about me...

They know that I know all about them...

Illuminati...

Hide their assassins' instructions in newspaper text...

Who will be next?

They're all around us...

Underline every third word in the Times and you'll see...

How can it be?

The Illuminati... They're watching me, I know.

The Illuminati... They're everywhere I go.

They're in the attic and the cellar...

Bigger than Hunt or Rockefeller...

Illuminati...

Go through my garbage and count all the pop bottles there...

Why do they care?

They're out to get me...

They're fluoridating my water from their UFO...

What do they know?

The Illuminati... They're everywhere, I see.

The Illuminati... And no one knows but me.

FAQ

From asia@news.gate.netFri Sep 29 14:21:00

Date: 26 SEP 18:09:31 -0400

From: Enchanter! <asia@news.gate.net>

Newsgroups: alt.illuminati

Subject: alt.illuminati FAQ (1/1)

ALT.ILLUMINATI

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

VERSION 1.1 * APRIL 19

compiled by Enchanter!

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I. INTRODUCTION

 "...there is a power so organized, so subtle, so complete, so pervasive, that they had better not speak above their breath when they speak in condemnation of it."

 --- President Woodrow Wilson

 "Don't believe the human eye In sunlight or in shade

 The puppet show of sight and sense Is the Devil's Masquerade."

 ---Robert Anton Wilson, 'Masks of the Illuminati'

Unlike most FAQs, which catalog many questions and provide answers, this document only attempts to explore a single question:

 Q: What is the Illuminati?

There is no single definitive answer, as the word means different things in different contexts.

To some, the Illuminati is synonymous with an international conspiracy working toward the goal of global domination. In this context, the Illuminati is usually perceived as an evil and subversive force that intends to enslave mankind.

Robert Anton Wilson wrote several fictional books on the subject of the Illuminati. While many consider it to be excellent fiction, it is undeniable that it involves itself with so many conspiracy theories, from the plausible to the absurd, that it becomes impossible to take seriously. Some of the hardened conspiracy theorists believe that Wilson is a secret member of the Illuminati who intentionally attempted to make a mockery of the subject, so that serious discussions would become polluted.

The "real" Illuminati is the name of an orginzation founded in Bavaria in 1776 by Adam Weishaupt. Weishaupt formed a secret society within another

secret society, Freemasonry. Some believe that Weishaupt created the Illuminati with the express purpose of overthrowing governments and bringing

about a new social order. Others, as you will read, disagree. Many opinions exist as to the origins, motives, and the ultimate fate of the Illuminati.

Some (e.g. M. William Cooper) believe that the Illuminati were purposely allowed to flourish within the Lodges of Freemasonry, so that they could eventually claim that the had been invaded unknowingly, but the awful con-spiracy had been squelched. This, according to Cooper, is a cover to deflect accusations, and to hide the fact that it merely went underground to re-surface later under a myriad of different names.

Adam Weishaupt published, in addition to numerous tracts (usually under his pseudonym 'Sparticus') the following books:

 A Picture of the Illuminati, 1786.

 A Complete History of the Persecutions of the Illuminati in Bavaria, 1786.

 An Apology for the Illuminati, 1787.

 An Improved System of the Illuminati, 1787.

John Robinson wrote a book in the 18th century, exposing the Illuminati. He attributes the following quote to Weishaupt:

 "The great strength of our Order lies in its concealment; let it never appear in any place in its own name, but always concealed by another name, and another occupation. None is fitter than the lower degrees of Freemasonry; the public is accustomed to it, ex-pects little from it, and therefore takes little notice of it. Next to this, the form of a learned or literary society is best suited to our purpose, and had Freemasonry not existed, this cover would have been employed; and it may be much more than a cover, it may be a powerful engine in our hands... A Literary Society is the most proper form for the introduction of our Order into any state where we are yet strangers."

 (as quoted in John Robinson's "Proofs of a Conspiracy" 1798, re-printed by Western Islands, Boston, 1967, p. 112)

What follows are excerpts from various authors on the subject of the Illuminati and other secret societies, from the plausible to the ludicrous.

I leave it to the reader to decide which are which.

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 Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea by Peter Trei

A look at the Harvard University Library Catalog shows that there was an Illuminati panic in New England in the late 1790's.

After that, very few people seem to have had Illuminism on their minds. In the 1950s and 60's, about the only people who seem to mention it were the John Birch Society.

In the mid-70's, Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson restarted popular spec-ulation with their fictional "Illuminatus!" trilogy. This mixes actual history with conspiracy theory and pure invention, and very deliberately produces doubts in the reader's mind as to the nature of reality--a tech-nique which the authors refer to as "guerilla ontology," in pursuit of "Operation Mindfuck." They were apparently turned on to Illuminism by some of the correspondance they received while working as letters column editors at Playboy magazine.

At the core of Illuminatus! is an aeons-old conflict between the conspiracies representing the forces of order, bureaucracy, and repression, represented by the Illuminati, and the conspiracies representing the forces of chaos, spon-taneity and freedom, representing by the Erisians (followers of Eris, the Greek goddess of discord). The plot involves every conspiracy you've ever heard of, many you haven't, monomaniacal midgets, golden submarines, giant squid, ancient Atlantis, zombie Nazi stormtroopers, and a good deal of sex.

Wilson and Shea drew heavily on Akron Darual's "History of Secret Societies," the "Principia Discordia" of the Erisians, many kinds of fringe conspiracy theory, and their own imaginations. One of their conceits is that Adam Weis-haupt, founder of the Bavarian Illuminati, secretly murdered George Washing-ton and took his place.

Illuminatus! became an underground bestseller, and while Shea seems to have been content to sit back and enjoy the royalties, Wilson has worked the in-terest it developed into a minor industry. He has brought out a steady stream of fiction and "non-fiction" concerning the Illuminati and related topics, noteably the "Schrodinger's Cat" trilogy, "The Illuminati Papers," "Cosmic Trigger - The Final Secret of the Illuminati," and most recently the "Historical Illuminatus Series," which is up to four books.

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Adam Weishaupt founded the Illuminati of Bavaria on May 1, 1776 on the principles of his early training as a Jesuit. Originally called the Order of the Perfectibilists, "its professed object was, by the mutual assistance of its members, to attain the highest possible degree of morality and virtue, and to lay the foundation for the reformation of the world by the association of good men to oppose the progress of moral evil." (1)

Adam Weishaupt was born February 6, 1748 at Ingoldstadt and educated by the Jesuits. His appointment as Professor of Natural and Canon Law at the University of Ingoldstadt in 1775, a position previously held by an ecclesiastic, gave great offense to the clergy. "Weishaupt, whose views were cosmopolitan, and who knew and condemned the bigotry and superstitions of the Priests, established an opposing party in the University.... This was the begining of the Order of Illuminati or the Enlightened...." (2) Weishaupt was not then a Freemason; he was initiated into Lodge Theodore of Good Council (Theodor zum guten Rath), at Munich in 1777.

Status as a Mason was not required for initiation into the Order of Illuminati since the fourth, fifth and sixth degrees of Weishaupt and Baron Von Knigge's system practically duplicated the three degrees of symbolic Freemasonry. Although Knigge claimed to have a system of ten degrees, the last two appear never to have been fully worked up. (3)

"The Order was at first very popular, and enrolled no less than two thousand names upon its registers.... Its Lodges were to be found in France, Belgium, Holland, Denmark, Sweden, Poland, Hungary, and Italy. Knigge, who was one of its most prominent working members, and the auther of several of its Degrees, was a religious man, and would never have united with it had its object been, as has been charged, to abolish Christianity. But it cannot be denied, that in the process of time abuses had crept into the Institution and that by the influence of unworthy men, the system became corrupted; yet the course accusations of Barruel and Robison are known to be exaggerated, and some of them altogether false.... The Edicts (on June 22, 1784, for its suppression) of the Elector of Bavaria were repeated in March and August, 1785 and the Order began to decline, so that by the end of the eighteenth century it had ceased to exist.... it exercised while in prosperity no favorable influence on the Masonic Institution, nor any unfavorable effect on it by its dis-solution." (4)

In the following year, 1785, Weishaupt was deprived of his professorship and banished from the country. He moved to Gotha where he died in 1811. The Encyclopædia Britannica refers to the Illuminati "cells" in an article on eighteenth century Italy as "republican freethinkers, after the pattern re-cently established in Bavaria by Adam Weishaupt." (5) and as a "rationalistic secret society" in an article on Roman Catholicism. (6) Depending on your perspective, the lack of any detailed information on the Illuminati in the Encyclopædia Britannica can be ascribed to their current power and secret-iveness or to the much simpler explanation that the editors found the order to be of little importance in the flow of history and social development. John M. Roberts claims that "The Illuminati were the first society to use for political subversion the machinery of secret organization offered by free masonry ... through the craft they began to spread." (7) while Robert Gilbert feels that Christopher McIntosh "overestimates the strength and sig-nificance of the Illuminati." (8)

Documented evidence would suggest that the Bavarian Illuminati was nothing more than a curious historical footnote. Certainly, this is the opinion of Masonic writers. Conspiracy theorists though, are not noted for applying Occam's razer and have decided that there is a connection between the Illuminati, the Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, International Zionism and (if you read the writings of Jack T, Chick of Chino California) communism that all leads back to the Vatican in a bid for world domination. Believe what you will but there is no evidence that the Illuminati survived its founders.

As an aside: the Alumbrados (Spanish for 'enlightened') were members of a mystical movement in 16th century Spain; for the most part reformed Jesuits and Franciscans. They believed that the human soul could enter into direct communication with the Holy Spirit and, due to their extravagant claims of visions and revelations, had three edicts issued against them by the Inquisition. Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits in 1534 and composer of the 'Constitutions of the Society of Jesus' has written nothing that would suggest he was in sympathy with the Alumbrados. (9) The name translates as 'illuminati' in Italian but the name is the only similarity with the later Bavarian Illuminati.

NOTES:

 (1) Albert G. Mackey, Encyclopedia of Freemasonry, Richmond, Virginia: Macoy Publishing. 1966, p.474

 (2) Ibid., p. 1099

 (3) Ibid., p. 475

(4) Ibid., p. 1099

(5) Encyclopaedia Britannica, 15th edition. Vol. 22, p. 223, 2b

 (6) Encyclopaedia Britannica, 15th edition. Vol. 26, p. 937, 2b

 (7) J.M. Roberts, The Mythology of Secret Societies, New York: Charles Scribner's Sons. 1972, pp. 123-4

 (8) Christopher McIntosh, The Rose Cross and the Age of Reason Leiden, E. J. Brill, 1992, reviewed by Robert Gilbert in the Transactions of Quatuor Coronati Lodge No. 2076, London: Butler & Tanner Ltd.1993 p. 241

 (9) "The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius", trans. by L.J. Puhl (1951); "The Constitutions of the Society of Jesus; Translated with an Intro-duction and a Commentary", by G.E. Ganss (1970).

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Whoever does not close his ear to the lamentations of the miserable, nor his heart to gentle pity; whoever is the friend and brother of the unfortunate; whoever has a heart capable of love and friendship; whoever is steadfast in adversity, unwearied in the carrying out of whatever has been once engaged in, undaunted in the overcoming of difficulties; whoever does not mock and despise the weak; whose soul is susceptible of conceiving great designs, desirous of rising superior to all base motives, and of distinguishing itself by deeds of benevolence; whoever shuns idleness; whoever considers no knowledge as unessential which he may have the opportunity of acquiring, regarding the knowledge of mankind as his chief study; whoever, when truth and virtue are in question, despising the approbation of the multitude, is sufficiently couragious to follow the dictates of his own heart, - such a one is a proper candidate.

[ Adam Weishaupt, "An Improved System of the Illuminati" (Gotha: 1787) ]

The tenor of my life has been the opposite of everything that is vile; and no man can lay any such thing to my charge.

[ An Apology for the Illuminati (Gotha: 1787) ]

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Karl Marx was hired by a mysterious group who called themselves the League of Just Men to write the 'Communist Manifesto' as demagogic boob-bait to appeal to the mob. In actual fact the 'Communist Manifesto' was in cir-culation for many years before Marx's name was widely enough recognized to establish his authorship for this revolutionary handbook. All Karl Marx really did was to update and codify the very same revolutionary plans set down seventy years earlier by Adam Weishaupt, the founder of the Order of the Illuminati in Bavaria. And it is widely acknowledged by serious scholars of this subject that the League of Just Men was simply an extension of the Illuminati which was forced to go deep underground after it was ex-posed in 1786 by a raid conducted by the Bavarian authorities.

[ Larry Abraham, 'Call it Conspiracy' (Double A Publications: Seattle, Washington, 1985) p. 41 ]

Cecil Rhode's commitment to a conspiracy to establish World Government was set down in a series of wills described by Frank Aydelotte in his book 'American Rhodes Scholarships.' Aydelotte writes:

 "The seven wills which Cecil Rhodes made between the ages of 24 and 46 [Rhodes died at 48] constitute a kind of spiritual auto-biography... Best known are the first (The Secret Society Will) and the last, which established the Rhodes Scholarships...

 In his first will Rhodes states his aim still more specifically:'The extension of British rule throughout the world... the found-ation of so great a power as to hereafter render wars impossible and promote the interests of humanity.'

 The 'Confession of Faith' enlarges upon these ideas. The model for this proposed secret society was the Society of Jesus, though he mentions the Masons."

It should be noted that the originator of this type of secret society was Adam Weishaupt, the monster who founded the Order of Illuminati on May 1, 1776, for the purpose of conspiracy to control the world. The role of Weishaupt's Illuminists in such horrors as the Reign of Terror is unquestioned, and the techniques of the Illuminati have long been recognized as models of Communist methodology. Weishaupt also used the structure of the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits) as his model, and rewrote his Code in Masonic terms.

[ Ibid., p. 91 ]

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Of special interest is the powerful society if Afghanistan in ancient times called the Roshaniya--illuminated ones. ...The major tenets of this cult were: the abolition of private propety; the elimination of religion; the elimination of nation states; the belief that illumination emanated from the Supreme Being who desired a class of perfect men and women to carry out the organization and direction of the world; belief in a plan to reshape the social system of the world by first taking control of in-dividual countries one by one, and the blief that after reaching the fourth degree one could communicate directly with the unknown supervisors who had imparted knowledge to initiates throughout the ages. Wise men will again recognize the Brotherhood.

...The Roshaniya also called themselves the Order. Initiates took an oath that absolved them of all allegiance except to the Order and stated, "I bind myself to perpetual silence and unshaken loyalty and submission to the Order... All humanity which cannot identify itself by our secret sign is our lawful prety." The oath remains essentially the same to this day. The secret sign was to pass a hand over the forehead, palm inward; the counter-sign, to hold the ear with the fingers and support the elbow in the cupped other hand. Does this sound familiar? The Order is the Order of the Quest.

...The Roshaniya took in travelers as initiates and then sent them on their way to found new chapters of the Order. It is believed by some that the Assassins were a branch of the Roshaniya. Branches of the Roshaniya or the "illuminated ones" or the Illuminati exists and still exist everywhere. One of the rules was not to use the same name and never mention "the Illuminati." That rule is still in effect today. I believe that it is the breaking of this rule that resulted in Adam Weishaupt's downfall.

One of the greatest secrets of the ages is the true story of the Holy Grail, the robe of Jesus, the remains of the Cross of Crucifixion, and whether Jesus actually died or if he survived and produced a child. Many myths surround the Knights Templar concerning these relics, and most myths through- out history always have at least some basis in fact. If my sources are correct, the Knights Templar survive today as a branch of the Illuminati, and guard the relics, which are hidden in a location known only to them.

We know that the Templars are Illuminati because the Freemasons absorbed and protected those that escaped persecution of the church and France, just as

Freemasons would absorb and protect Weishaupt's Illuminati centuries later. The Knights Templar exist today as a higher degree of Freemasonry within the Templar Order. In fact, the Knights Templar is a branch of the Order of the Quest.

...The Knights Templar were found

All about the Illuminati

1. There are many Illuminated groups, with different kinds of secret knowledge. Anything you might say about them (including this) will be false for some of the Illuminati, but true for others, which only adds to the confusion and mystery.

2. The Illuminati infiltrate and take over organizations of all kinds, from churches to the post office to the corner grocery store, and turn them to their own ends.

3. And, just as a black joke, some of their subject organizations advertise themselves as Secret Societies!

4. They have agents and ``sleepers'' planted everywhere. Many of these people have no idea who they are really reporting to. Others are active members of the conspiracy, working their way ever deeper into the fabric of society.

5. They control the schools in order to make sure that young people learn to enjoy strange tuneless music and weird outlandish games, and that they dress oddly.

6. They also try to recruit the best and the brightest young people as agents, to insure the next generation of the Conspiracy.

7. They constantly feud among themselves and war with other groups and organizations. Each group of Illuminati is constantly striving to increase its power base and undermine the competition.

8. Their first means of dealing with opposition is to buy it off. To any group as rich as the Illuminati, a few million dollars are

nothing.

9. Next they try threats. Danger to possessions, status or loved ones has dissuaded many a would-be foe of Illuminati schemes.

10. And, of course, murder is an ancient political weapon. The Illuminati have been responsible for some of the most shocking

assassinations of modern times.

11. They also replace people with doubles. For many years they recruited look-alikes who would serve their ends. Now they are

perfecting cloning technology that will let them replace anybody.

12. Those who can't be dealt with any other way are discredited or driven mad.

13. The Illuminati conspiracy is hundreds, if not thousands, of years old. Many of the most famous names of history have been Illuminated, or Illuminati agents. Indeed, all of history is nothing more than an outside view of the schemes and struggles of the Illuminati.

14. And, of course, the Illuminati are constantly rewriting history to serve their own goals. For instance, modern schoolchildren are taught that there is no historical evidence of Eris or King Arthur, and they learn nothing about the Russo-German War or the state of Arcadia.

15. They control the news media, so you hear what they want you to about today's news. Any event that doesn't fit in with their program will be quickly hushed up.

16. In particular, they control television. They don't permit intelligent shows to survive; they encourage mind candy that will keep people from thinking. The only reason good shows are permitted to appear at all is to convince intelligent people that nobody else likes such material, and that there must be something wrong with them.

17. The Illuminati manipulate the stock market and control currencies on an international level. Your paycheck is worth just what the Illuminati want it to be.

18. Likewise, the entire ``energy crisis'' is an Illuminati invention. There's no shortage of energy, of a dozen different kinds,

but plentiful free energy might threaten the Illuminated power base!

19. The Illuminati are doing their best to hold back the space program, for the same reason. If mankind was spread out through the solar system, they'd be much harder to control. [Not all the Illuminati agree on this. Some of them lust after the mineral wealth of space, and some want (literally) new worlds to conquer.]

20. And some of them are in touch with aliens from outer space. Some of them ARE aliens. Why would ``advanced beings'' want to meddle with the affairs of Earthlings? Good question.

21. Worse, some of them have actual magical powers and are in league with forces from . . . elsewhere. Great huge beings that are madness to look upon, or tiny, malicious things that glare and gibber from dark corners. They have pins and dolls; they know old names.

22. Other Illuminati have embraced technology. Their files of information are much more useful when backed by the power of the computer. They are also conditioning everyone to believe that computers are so complicated and dangerous that only the Experts should play with them. Next time you get an electric bill for $666,666.66, you know who's behind it.

23. And some of these technophiles have gone a step farther, creating actual machine intelligences. These sentient computers are now, themselves, a force amoung the ruling Illuminati!

24. The Illuminati don't like war; it's expensive and wasteful. War only happens when two groups of Illuminati are very evenly matched and neither is willing to negotiate. But then they whip a few nations into a patriotic fervor and go at it.

25. They send secret messages through the newspapers and airwaves - in the classified ads, and even buried in news reports. They have other, even stranger forms of secret communications . . . all around you, all the time.

26. They keep everyone - yes, everyone - under constant surveillance. Every time you fill out another questionnaire, you're

weaving another strand of the net that binds the world.

27. They are working to make the law as confusing as possible, so everything will be illegal or potentially illegal - then they have a hold on everybody and everyone will fear the laws.

28. They encourage resistance to authority among young people and political dissidents, to distract government attention from the real enemy within.

29. But when they reach a satisfactory level of control, they turn their efforts toward extinguishing independence and encouraging mindless obedience to whatever orders come from the Illuminati or their servants.

30. They commit random atrocities - poisoning food at grocery stores, murdering old blind ladies, sniping on the freeway - just to make people vaguely confused, frightened and paranoid.

31. They suppress inventions which might change the status quo. The 100-mile-a-gallon carburator, the perfect contraceptive, and the cornucopia plant are all lying in Illuminati vaults, waiting for the day when it will suit the Secret Masters to release them. What happened to the inventors? Bought off, intimidated, or just vanished.

32. On the other hand, they also maintain secret laboratories where they develop new weapons and devices of all kind.

33. Their arcane investigations cause all sorts of mysteries. Ever wonder about the Loch Ness Monster? The ``cattle mutilations?'' The Oregon Crud?

34. And they require hundreds of human victims every year for their experiments. Ever wonder why there are so many Missing Persons reports, and why so few of those people are found?

35. They are constantly experimenting with new types of mind control. They put drugs in drinking water, flash subliminal messages during movies and TV shows, and play instructions that you can't quite hear over supermarket loudspeakers. They experiment with microwaves and ultra-low-frequency devices, too.

36. And every wire in your house is a potential pathway for Illuminati messages, attacks or controlling rays. Did you ever stop

to think just how many wires lead to your house? And do you have any idea where they really come from?

37. Naturally, they discourage investigation of the strange and unusual, because it might lead to them. But they encourage people to joke about the Illuminati.

38. They also publish supermarket tabloids, just to make sure that everybody thinks ``Hitler's Brain Is Alive!'' and ``Bigfoot Seen In Hawaii'' are just jokes.

39. And they encourage the craziest pseudo-science ``researchers'' they can find, because this tends to discredit legitimate

investigators into the unusual.

40. A popular belief is that the Illuminati want power for its own sake. This is true of some of them. But other Illuminated groups exist to support an ideology, to achieve a particular goal, or simply to oppose some other group of Illuminati!

41. One of their chief preoccupations is life extension by any means possible. Nobody who has held ultimate power for fifty years is eager to let it go. Anything you can think of . . . yoga, cryonics, body-exchange, magic, cloning, goat (or other) glands, transfusions, computerized personality duplication . . . has been tried by the Illuminati at one time or another. And some of them work!

42. Furthermore, powerful Illuminati from past centuries lie waiting to be revived when science allows it. Mummies, pickled corpses, frozen bodies, conscious brains in jars . . . you would recognize the names if we could mention them.

43. You're not cleared for this one.

44. They use disease as a weapon to discipline their own populations or destroy competing ones. Black Death in Europe, smallpox among the American Indians . . . The swine flu, a few years ago, was thwarted by opposing forces, or you probably wouldn't be reading this.

45. They have a variety of unhuman and inhuman servants. The dreaded Men in Black are perhaps their best-known agents. No one knows whether the MIBs are androids, golems, or something even worse.

Perhaps they were once human . . .

46. And they really are breeding a Master Race. The Nazis had no idea how they were being used, or why. And they'd be horrified at the Illuminati's idea of perfection!

47. The Illuminati know weird sexual techniques undreamed of in the Kama Sutra. They also know why those techniques are used.

48. The next time you spend too much money to buy something you didn't want or need, and it breaks in a week, you can be sure you've just contributed to an Illuminati fund-raising project.

49. They start chain letters. They also plant rumors that the Red Cross can buy an iron lung if you send them a million cigarette packages, and that dying children in England want ten million business cards. No one knows why they do this.